You Regret Switching Jobs. Should You Try to Go Back to Your Old One?
Summary.
If your new job isn’t turning out like you’d hoped and you’re considering “boomeranging” back to your former employer, take the time to assess how both employers line up with your needs and values. After some self-reflection and open dialogue with your new colleagues, you may find there’s hope for the new job after all. If you do decide to approach your former employer about rejoining them, prepare to make a compelling case for your return. Your efforts will show not only that you’re committed to your previous employer, but that you’ll be fully engaged if you return.
Have you ever moved to a new company and regretted your decision? Maybe the culture is wildly different from your previous employer and you’re having trouble adjusting or fitting in. Perhaps you didn’t realize how hard it would be to rebuild relationships and prove yourself all over again. Or maybe your new job isn’t what you expected based on how it was described to you during the interview process.
Should You Go Back to a Previous Employer?
Starting a new job is harrowing, and change is hard for everyone, but if you truly feel like you made a mistake and are considering going back to your previous employer, take a deep breath and assess the following three areas to decide whether to try to make the move back and if so, how to prepare to open the dialogue with your former employer.
Identify what’s important to you.
These are your values, and if they’re fulfilled, you’ll likely feel fulfilled. Independent of either employer, think about what you want from a job and company. Ask yourself these three questions, then write the answers in a stream of thought:
- What kind of work do I enjoy doing? What kind of work gives me energy?
- What kind of work environment is important to me?
- What kind of interactions do I want to have at work?
After you write down what’s important to you, define each value. For example, if flexibility is important to you, what does that actually look like? Maybe you want to be able to leave work early with no guilt to attend your child’s activities, or maybe you want to work fully remotely.
When you identify and define your values, you can determine whether your current or former job fulfills them. If neither one does, then dig deeper into why you’re considering jumping from one unfulfilling job to another.
Assess why you left.
Whenever we distance ourselves from a previous experience, we tend to romanticize the good and forget the bad. It’s important to look at your previous experience objectively before considering jumping back to a previous employer.
Create two columns on a piece of paper. In the left column, write down every reason you left your previous employer. On the right, write down what’s pulling you back. Here are some questions to ask yourself to truly understand why you left and why you’re longing to go back:
Left side: Why did I leave?
- What are all the reasons why I decided to leave my last employer?
- What values couldn’t be fulfilled in my last job?
- If I went back to my previous employer, would anything change?
Right side: What’s pulling me back?
- What was good about working at my previous employer and job?
- What concerns me about my new employer? Are my concerns real or perceived? Do they need to be investigated further?
- Am I struggling to adjust to the change (e.g., the people, environment, or work)?
Here’s a short example of this exercise:
Why did I leave?
- I wanted to be a manager, and there was no opportunity.
- I didn’t feel like I had my manager’s support or opportunities to learn how to manage people.
What’s pulling me back?
- It was easy to get things done, because I knew everyone and had deep relationships.
- I don’t feel like I fit in with the culture at my new workplace.
Now ask yourself these two questions to determine whether going back would change any of the reasons why you left and whether more time at your new employer would rectify any concerns:
- If I wasn’t fulfilled in my previous job or was frustrated with my previous employer, will I feel the same if I return? If not, why?
- If I gave it more time and felt comfortable at my current employer, do I believe my values would be fulfilled?
Talk to your manager and new colleagues about your concerns.
If you believe you came to the new company for a reason and think you can be successful after you adjust to the change, seek help from your new colleagues and manager. When I jumped from entertainment technology to medical technology, I felt like I had landed on Mars. I not only had to learn a new environment, new lingo, and new people, I also had to learn how to bring value to the organization in a completely different way than I had in the past. I was overwhelmed and in a fog, floating through each day and trying to figure out whether I had made a huge mistake.
I confided in a few people at my new company, including my manager, that I was struggling to adjust. Each one told me their own stories, including how they had struggled when they started at the company. They supported me through the adjustment period, setting up weekly check-ins, including me in lunches, and helping me understand how to maneuver in a different culture. Without them, I know I wouldn’t have succeeded at the new company (or stayed for four years).
Seeking support in your struggle to adjust shows vulnerability and can help you build relationships with others. Those connections will help you adjust more quickly. Then, if you’re still not fulfilled, at least you know you tried your best before considering heading back to your old employer.
How to Approach a Former Employer
If you determine that returning to your previous employer will best align with your values, career goals, and personal growth, you’ll need a strategy for approaching them. Preparation is key, so before reaching out to your former manager or a hiring manager, take these three steps:
Answer in writing: Why did I leave my previous job and why do I want to return?
If you left once, there will be a perception that if you get frustrated, you’ll leave again. You need to be prepared to answer the question of why you left and why you want to return. Keep in mind that your response should only address the former employer — it shouldn’t include that you aren’t happy with your new employer.
Focus specifically on the one reason why you left, such as lack of growth, wanting to become a manager and not seeing an opportunity to do that, or not feeling like your skills were being fully utilized. Your answer should also include revelations about what you’ve since discovered about the reason why you left. Perhaps you’re managing in your new role and don’t like it after all, or you realized it was your job — not your manager’s — to seek out projects that would utilize your skills or help you grow. Discussing your reflection on why you left demonstrates self-awareness and emotional intelligence about the previous situation and that you won’t let that influence you to leave in the future.
Talk to supportive former colleagues first.
Once you’ve prepared for a conversation with your former manager or a new hiring manager, start talking to former colleagues first about your interest in returning and potential opportunities. Inquire about any postings you saw on the company’s website or ask if colleagues know of a position coming up that hasn’t been posted yet. Also inquire about where there are still gaps that need to be filled or challenges that could use your skillset. Having the support of colleagues when you reach out to your former manager or a new hiring manager will give them comfort that you’ll be able to seamlessly rejoin the team and are committed to the company.
Craft an effective proposal for return.
You’ll need to demonstrate how you can bring more value to your previous employer than any other candidate. Did you upskill while you were gone? Have you kept abreast of the company’s successes and setbacks? In talking to colleagues, did you learn of any problems you can solve or gaps you can fill that the company needs immediately and won’t have time to onboard someone else to handle? Look at the company’s website for job opportunities where your skills could bring value. Knowing what’s posted will allow you to have a deeper conversation with your previous manager or other leaders at the company about specific ways you could jump in and solve problems with little training.
Finally, if you made mistakes at your last company, discuss them proactively with your former manager or colleagues. How would you prevent those issues from happening again? Continuing to demonstrate self-awareness and emotional intelligence in every conversation will show personal growth, even if you’ve only been gone for a short time.
If your new job isn’t turning out like you’d hoped and you’re considering “boomeranging” back to your former employer, take the time to assess how both employers line up with your needs and values. After some self-reflection and open dialogue with your new colleagues, you may find there’s hope for the new job after all. If you do decide to approach your former employer about rejoining them, prepare to make a compelling case for your return. Your efforts will show not only that you’re committed to your previous employer, but that you’ll be fully engaged if you return.
Marlo Lyons career, executive, and team coach and the award-winning author of Wanted – A New Career: The Definitive Playbook for Transitioning to a New Career or Finding Your Dream Job. You can reach her at www.marlolyonscoaching.com.